Post by Alex Brody on Jul 13, 2020 2:08:36 GMT -5
After a few seconds of fumbling, the camera focuses, and it's obvious Alex Brody is talking to the video camera in her phone. She's sitting on a sofa, covered with a sheet and wearing a pair of black silk pajamas.
"Hi everyone. Alex here. And before anyone asks... yes, it's really me. JUST me. No more... no more Queen Cthulhu. I'm at home, healing my body and, more importantly, my mind. I'll be back, and it won't be that long. But until then... I'm doing what my therapist tells me to do. And one thing he said... is that I need to confront the things that broke me to begin with. And for me, part of doing that is talking about it, and not hiding from it anymore."
She sighed, running her fingers through her hair with a deep breath.
"Nobody really knows everything I've been through. Which is my fault, but it's still a fact. My dad talks about the time I put a kid in the Walls of Jericho in school, screaming for him to tap. Sure, it sounds funny. But I wanted to hurt him there. I wanted to hear him scream. All because he made fun of me."
"This is gonna get super real here, so... fair warning: if you get triggered by things dealing with rape, you might wanna turn this off now. Go ahead, I'll wait a few seconds to give you a chance."
Shifting in her seat a little, Alex took a breath and continued.
"From the time I was 6 until the time I was 14, I was sexually abused by a neighbor, who my family trusted to take care of me while they worked. I'm not gonna go into details, because they aren't important. What is important is how I dealt with it. I just... turned my brain off, in a way. I forced myself to shut down, to not process what was being done to me. And over time... the anger I felt at what was happening to me... the shame... the emotional pain... all the stuff I'd been pushing down deep... it started to manifest itself as another personality. One that would take over when I shut down. As I got older, the personality became more prominent. More independent. More... dominant."
"Any time someone would hurt me? She'd take over. When I hesitated? She'd force me to keep going. What began as an unintentional defense mechanism became something that almost ruined my life. I wanted to be rid of her. But the problem was, I still couldn't face my problems. And it was making her stronger."
"By now, everyone knows about the huge dumpster fire my first ever relationship turned into. Lilith... it began as physical attraction, but I quickly feel desperately in love with her. And to have my first relationship end not only in betrayal, but in physical violence in front of millions of people across the country? Something broke in me that day. This time, when she took over to 'protect' me... she decided she wasn't going to leave. She was sadistic. Cruel. Obsessed with avenging any injustice done to me. Nobody was safe: friends.... family... anyone who got in her way was fair game. And if I in any way hesitated when it was time to strike someone down? She took over. And did it for me."
She wiped a tear from her eyes, taking a few moments to compose herself.
"That side of me... became so convinced she was invincible that once I put the mask back on... that was like me giving her permission to take over my mind completely. To push the real me deep down where she could never escape. And that's why I want to thank Samantha Tolson-Anderson. The only way anyone was going to give me a chance to take control again was to shake Queen Cthulhu. To show her she wasn't invincible. To decisively defeat her. And when Samantha did that... when she then took Cthulhu's mask as a symbolic gesture... people asked me why I layed there, almost catatonic. Why Kyle had to carry me away. It's simple, really. Samantha had given me the chance to finally lock Queen Cthulhu away, and I took it. I was having a battle in my mind, between the real me, and a destructive, sadistic personality that had been born to protect me. My body, essentially, was a shell at that moment. Two personalities battling for control, but neither HAVING it."
She took a tissue, dabbing her eyes with it, breathing deeply a few times to regain her composure.
"Which brings me to now. I finally entered therapy. And by admitting what happened to me... by admitting just how badly Lillith broke my heart... I broke the walls down that had given that other part of me room to exist. I want to apologize to anyone I hurt while that other side of me was in control. I hate that I was even capable of being like that... and Samantha? I want you to know that I am truly sorry for what happened when I tried to injure you. And I'm grateful that you helped me finally destroy that part of myself."
"I love my fans. All of you, watching this. I promise you... when I come back? I'm coming back better than ever. Healthier and more focused than I've ever been."